KELSOS HELMET RANKINGS OF POWER WEEK 1
Well guys fantasy week 1 has come and gone and it didn't do it quietly. We all know about the huge injuries that took place. Jeremy bent over and took it like a man basically. Time to rebuild buddy. From now on you can expect to see the new power rankings for each week Sunday morning before the games. ( ) indicates last weeks ranking.
1) Kelsos Helmet
2) Thurman In His Prime
3) Green Bowl Packers
4) Back Yard Brawlers
5) Ron Mexico Kennel Club
6) Hydro Huskies
7) BALCO LAbs
8) Fear & Loathing
10) A Fighting Chance
11) Home Field Disadvantage
12) Tonight The Riot
1) KELSOS HELMET (1) - Well I probably would have knocked myself out of the top spot this week if it wasn't for a dreaded instance of scoring 100 points and losing, so this is my way of making me feel better about myself. My team produced pretty much as I suspected. Jacobs was his usual beasty self. Johnson was average against a stout NE defense. Big Ben was Solid just hope he passes for more than 137 yards though and I just hope Moss can still be the beast he is with Matt "Sand" Cassel. Vincent Jackson looked good but his brother Darrel couldnt get me the 15 points I needed to defeat Nugget. I don't really think there brothers are they? Shock-ey Value should be Brees's new go to guy in New Orleans, I know your all waiting for Patten, Meachum and Henderson to step up but that job is for Shockey. Also Added John Carlson for some TE depth because Seattle is hurting big time for receiving threats and I traded for him in my Madden franchise and believe it or not he's quite a beastly white man himself! New addition Greg Lewis could fill in nicely for a few weeks while Brown and Curtis are still out, Hank Baskett is not the Philadelphia answer I'm sorry. Probably my most guru pick of the draft, The Tennesee Defense going to be top 5 this year. Laverneous Coles is on the block. Felix Jones is a nice addition and he should blast Barber in the ribs a few times before Sunday. Superbowl ReDu fot you Riot. You game?
2) THURMAN IN HIS PRIME (2) - Staying put in the rankings is Prime Thurman, Jay Cutler looks like he's grasping this Quarterback thing finally, great late pick. Gore is a centerpiece in San Fransisco, the offense runs through him. I might be second guessing taking Moss over him this year. You couldn't ask for a better performance from Thomas Jones, good start but would young Matt Forte proclaimed Rookie Of The Year be a better one? By the looks of the opener Plaxico is DEFINETLY Eli's #1 guy. Reggie Wayne is probably Peytons too. Best 1. 2. receiving punch on any team. Chris Cooley needs to step it up or you'll be trading me for Big John Carlson or at least give LJ Smith a chance. Bradshaw needed to get cut and wisely you did. Making all the right moves like Tom Cruise so far Mr. Sherwood. Keep on wagon "training" on.
3) GREEN BOWL PACKERS (6) - Whooped my ass so I'll give credit where credit is due. For being so down and out about his team after the draft he should be happy to have such a nice squad assembled. Your such a dummy nuggy. Drew Brees loses a target but really didn't even use him week 1 anyway. If he was smart he'd hit Shockey all day but to be honest I think David Patten is the receiver with the most potential to gain here. Either way Brees should continue to produce. Earnest Graham is a silent snake slithering through the grass. Quietly got you 11 points and matched Jacobs day. Steven Jackson is crying for more carries, so i guess that's good for you too. Don't expect Hines Ward to continue his torrid pace. Bengals offense was junk hope it heats up for Housh. Crayton and Whitten were targeted 15 times Sunday so Romo is looking bothe guys way. Td's will come from both. Also like DeSean Jackson on your bench. I remember at the draft you deabting over him or Chris Brown Houston running back. Nice choice. Fred Taylor and MJD COMBINED! for 33 yards rushing Sunday and they lost 4 starting lineman...Not to be a back seat GM but I'd drop Fragile Freddy if I was you. Another tough matchup with division foe Balco this week, and I hope you lose.
4) BACK YARD BRAWLERS (5) - High points bread winner week 1 and it sounds like Jeff's taking stock in the "More Time you spend on the computer the better your team is" method popularized by Kelsos Helmet last year. McNabb was on point Sunday and so was Westbrook, better hope that Phily Train keeps chuggin along though. Kevin Smith is a pleasant surprise. You got 12 points outta Burleson and out. A week receiving core to begin with loses maybe it top threat. Mason, Evans and now maybe Javon Walker is ready to play ball? Steve Smith can't get back fast enough but if you win the three games he's out watch out. Kellen Winslow produced as expected. Jamal Lewis is a more than viable backup. Wasn't a fan of Ginn unless you get return points good job showing him the door. Things looking good early. Tango with the Hydro Huskie in week 2 is always a battle. Bait him with some green bud.
5) RON MEXICO KENNEL CLUB (4) - Handed Homefield a 54 point beat down while the Disadvantage scored just 54. Willie Parker shut me up week one and my Mendenhall wishes. Maurice Jones Drew may just be in for a rude awakening though. Without a fast Willie outburst this team may come back down to earth fast. Bowe gotta a Td and that's all your asking for, TO and Romo were on the same page and Owen Daniels scored 3 points and still crushed Todd Heps production. But guess what, he's not playing this week and you don't have a back up, John Carlson? If I was you I'd also look at a Galloway replacement. Laverneous Coles man! Bears D didn't dissapoint but there no Titan Sqaud. Should have your way with an already beaten up A Fighting Chance team and find yourself 2-0.
6) HYDRO HUSKIES (3) - Falling three spots with a 68 point sub par week 1 performance is the Hydroponic Huskies. Favre looked like the gunslinger of old. Barber ran like a champion but took a few on the ribs, should be good to go though. McFadden's first few weeks might be slow but he'll develop. Might wanna think about plugging Reggie Bush in until he does, and I see you have! What's this? The Kevin Boss experiment is over already Davis? Vernon Davis should be good for you, Calvin Johnson is going to be a horse, but Braylen Edwards led the league in drops last year and might fail to be the dominant force we all predicted. Is Wes Welker going to fall off without Brady? Prob not. Good choice going with the Bills D. They look ball hawking and ferocious. Hardy could be holding up a roster spot until he gets in his rhythm or even on the field. Also need to find a kicker because of "Bye Week" for Houston. Tought matchup with the brawlers and in danger of falling to 0-2. Say it Ain't Soooooooo.
7) BALCO LABS (8) - Peyton had an off week and still scored you 16, Clinton Portis was bottled up by the Giants and is bitching about his offense, and Selvin Young had 7 carries. Even Justin Fargus can't fix your running back problem. Cotchery is indeed Favres favorite target but Driver isn't Rodgers. Roy Williams should be consistent and rocksolid all year. But is Tony Gonzalez falling into mediocrity? Don't act like you didn't know Bills are lighting up that Jags D all day son! Give Green Bowl a sparking for me.
8) FEAR & LOATHING (10) - Little Brother needs a TE, Big brother to the rescue, Big Brother needs a Quarterback, Little Brother returns the favor. You guys are cute. But if Chris Johnson is getting passed around like a little slut, I want a piece. Marshawn ran hard but Willis bitched it. A 57 point butt whiping. Average performance from an average team. Now that you got Chris Johnson gifted back to you he'll prob stay in your lineup over Willis for the rest of the year. If I was you I would have kept Warner and dealt Rodgers to your Bro. Fitzgerald from Warner allll day combo. Don't worry he might trade him back to you in a day or two. Santonio needs to step it up and get open for Big Ben. 19 yards isn't gunna cut it. Todd Heap not gunna get out of the negatives this week, so it's Schefler to the rescue. Probably gunna get stomped by Prime Thurman.
9) BTAN (9) - Pin the tail on the low point man for the week. Playing Ben this week with the two of you combined for 107 points last week, three almost four teams would have beat both your teams put together. Now that's funny I don't care who ya are. Carson Palmer stunk up the stadium but don't expect that to become a habit. Adrian Peterson came to play like usual. Edjerrin is gunna get the yards but Hightower will get most of the touchdowns in Arizona. Harrison was targeted consistenly and Chambers did catch a TD pass, but Tory Holt was non existant. Like the Fasano pickup, Alge Crumpler eats his socks. Probably should roll the Home Field Disadvantage this week.
10) A FIGHTING CHANCE (12) - Snuck out the imfamous 70 point win last week. While great in the win column it doesnt help you much in the power rankings. Eddie Royal is now your #1 WR threat and Marshall is coming back. Eddie Royal had his best game of the season. Justin Gage makes me laugh every time I look at it. Dallas Clark is banged up, Ladainian is gimpy your starting Sammy Morris. Things don't look good. Eli's gunna have to win for you single handedly.
11) HOME FIELD DISADVANTAGE (7) - The biggest fall in the rankings is the Disadvantage. I really don't know what i was thinking ranking them so high in the first place. Hasselbacks weapons are depleted. Maroney lost yards and carries and touchdowns to Sammy Morris again. I thought things would be different with him this year to, but guess not. You don't have a healthy reciver to start in Andre Johnsons place. Ahman Green has to go. Anthony Gonzalez is the 4th WR threat on his team. Heath Miller had an off week, but should rebound.
12) TONIGHT THE RIOT (11) - Well i didn't really like your team to begin with now take away your two best guys. I feel this is the only spot for ya until you make your team better. Warner was a start but i might almost rather of had Chris Johnson and rolled with Pennington. You still got Boldin and your favorite man Turner who will not have the day of his carrer like he had last week. Not to mention Kelso Helmet memebers are boiling over the loss to Green Bowls. Patten better bring his A game. You know how I feel about Berrian and Gates is still not 100%. Looks like a picked a nice week to be playing you buddy. May the best man win.