KELSOS HELMET RANKINGS OF POWER PRESEASON
Well boys it's only 5 days and 4 hours away as I write this. You guessed it the start of the 2008 B.A.F.F. season is almost here. As it is the start of the season and everyone should feel they have the best team, these are the rankings as I see it. This was tough...there doesn't seem to be any one standout team so far with a lot of quality teams with different strengths and weaknesses it's hard to put them in order. I am posting all the rankings this year on my blog "The Fantasy Factor" so all you pukes can reply and re-buttle to the rankings. So don't be scared and tell me what ya think. So now without further a due I give you the PRESEASON KELSOS HELMET RANKING'S OF POWER
1) Kelsos Helmet
2) Thurman In His Prime
3) Hydro Huskies
4) Ron Mexico Kennel Club
5) Back Yard Brawlers
6) Green Bowl Packers
7) Home Field Disadvantage
8) BALCO Labs
10 )Fear & Loathing
11) Tonight The Riot
12) A Fighting Chance
1) KELSOS HELMET - Quick. Name the next QB after Tom Brady, Tony Romo and Peyton Manning last year as far and Fantasy Point production. If you guessed Ben Roethlisburger than your right. Third in the league with 32 passing TD's last year can tell you that Big Ben is a Big Time player. He also only threw 11 picks and added Limus Sweed and Rashard Mendenhall, two of the top players at there position coming out of the draft to the arsenal, so, things can only get better. Also rumours of a no huddle "K- Gunesque" offense, be afraid be very afraid. Now as I said Big Ben was a top 3 QB last year, but Larry Johnson was the 38th ranked RB. Definetly looking for a bounce back season from this perenial horse, but if not Brandon Jacobs has averaged 6.1 yards per carry and you know they'll be using him at the goaline with Droughns long gone. Exactly what my next back Rashard Mendenhall should be doing in Pittsburgh. Willie Parker is a pipsqueak. Made an oopsie pick with Chris Brown and he will be cut AS SOON AS FREE AGENCY OPENS! I passed on Frank Gore in favor of my next Kelso Helmet cornerstone, Randy Moss. Do I really have to break down the freaks stats for you all? I was on the Vincent Jackson bandwagon last year and he failed me. But the mother fucker tore it up for me on my madden team, alot of upside here, especially if Gates is banged up. Coles should also see a boost in production with Bret The Jet in town. Darrel Jacksons value is down with Marshall's suspension only 1 game now, but still could put up good numbers in new scenery. Kinda like Shockey, Drew Brees targeted his tight end the most in the NFL last year. He's a red zone target if I ever saw one. Vernon Davis is supposed to be great but I'm still waiting. It looks like I'm in line for a repeat boys. Always open for trade opputunities give me an offer
2) THURMAN IN HIS PRIME - Now solo after a lovers quarrel, the man they call ZTrain has taken over the reigns of Thurman In His Prime. Out of the Bill Polian mold Sherwood drafted a powerful team. Frank Gore is fat but could be top 5 back. Mike Martz is running the show so think of him as Marshal Faulk. Thomas Jones is getting rave reviews but I havn't jumped on the bandwagon yet. I like your youth with Stewart and Forte but I hope Ahmad Bradshaw doesnt see a down. Cutler could be a sleeper, with Marshall for and extra 2 games, keep some sigar handy in case his diabetes acts up though Possible three headed monster with Plaxico, Wayne, and Moss (Santana). Chris Cooley was picked in Maxim magazine as there Tightend for the all Maxim team, not quite all madden but close enough. Make Maines sorry for not showing up and win the BAFF championship, I'll let ya.
3) HYDRO HUSKIES - Is Favre gunna produce in New York? If he does I like your team alot. I'm aboard the McFadden train and don't be surprised if he has a Adrain Peterson type year. Barber is one of the most fun backs to watch in the NFL. Felix Jones looked great in preseason also. And my friend you have Reggie Bush on your bench, not a bad man to have there, he still has mad potential. Love your recievers. Edwards will be top 3, Calvin Johnson with a year under his belt, and Wes Welker continues to amaze me. Hardy will give you the TD's Evans seemed to lack for me last year. Greg Olsen was a first round pick for a reason, it's just the Bears passing game blows. You came on strong last year and continued with a quality draft in 08. Chargers and Bills D tandem could produce nicely also.
4) RON MEXICO KENNEL CLUB - Tony Romo was very high on my draft board, could outpoint Brady and Manning this year if the tide is right. I'm not high on your running back squad,and that's probably why you tried to pick up Kenny Watson before free agency CHEATER! Jones Drew is solid and I guess Willie Parker is ok, but he won't be getting goaline carries and you know I'm praying for him to break his legs. Yeah that's right both of em. Funny thing is i probably like Ray Rice the best outta them all. Willis did have knee surgery and I know it was minor, but don't forget about his blowout in Miami. If Willis goes down Rice will shine. I'll never tell you my sleeper picks again, THIEF! TO and Romo could be a winning combination, Stallworth could take some pressure off Edwards and Vice versa. Dwayne Bowe is nasty but in a shit offense. Limus Sweed could be the best rookie wideout. Galloway is 37 how much more can he run for bombs? Daniel Owens...I mean Owen Daniels is an up and coming TE out of the Todd Heap mold. But he will crush Heaps production. The Bears are still the bears and a top D in Fantasy. Good squad here.
5) BACK YARD BRAWLERS - Love McNabb pick late, I actually thought he was already picked when you drafted him. He should be back to his form of two years ago, plus he too was a member of my 2008 championship squad so he can't be that bad. Westbrook battled AP and Ladanian all year for the top running back in fanatasy, I know everyone says he injury prone, but fuck that, he's a stud. I am actually really high on Kevin Smith this year, errrr I was until that piece of shit Rudi Johnson came to town. I was gunna make an offer for Smith but now the Lions are just another team splitting carries. Jamal Lewis could be avg but he has some miles on those wheels. Your WR squad is lackluster. Lee Evans and Burleson will have to carry you until Steve Smith gets back week 4. Is Javon Walker retiring or was someone pulling my leg? Mason would be awesome if we got points for catches but until then he sucks. Winslow is your money maker. I wanted him so bad and Jeremy snatched him up 3 picks before me. Good trade on your part Jeremy might be regretting it midseason. Baltimore d is still Ballhawking. Another good quality draft here.
6) GREEN BOWL PACKERS - Divison rival riding the legs of Earnest P. Graham. I'll take it. Stephen Jackson should be a stud but other than that you have 2 backup runners in Chester and Fred Taylor. Must of liked what you saw from Drew Brees even though he singled handidly lost a couple games for you last year one on the last play in what was against Teneesee quite possibly the best fantasy final ever. Nugget up 1 point with 1 play left, Drees drops back and Bulluck intercept to give Nuggy the loss. Brees is all in all a great Qb option. Housh took over the #1 spot last year and was right on pace with Moss early on. Hines Ward is still ticking but not a big TD threat. Crayton could breakout opposite TO and Whitten. Think Wes Welker. Oh Yeah Jason Whitten, personally my #1 TE on my board, I already tried to rip Nugget off but even a dummy knows Whitten is golden. Only trouble i see this team is it's divison with company from probably the best 3 teams last year. But whipe the slate clean it's a new season.
7) HOME FIELD DISADVANTAGE - See what a difference it makes coming straight to the draft from work rather from the bar. Hasselback is a very consistent productive QB right behind Brees and Big Ben. Anybody notice in my last year ranking I said Addai would be top 3 pick this year and thats exactly where he went #3. Should be productive. I like Maroney better this year but he needs more than 185 carries. Tons of potential, he reminds me of Marion Barber. I do however hate Ahman Green, injured frequently and he had a grand total of 28 Fantasy Points last year LOL 11 years in the league is alot for a running back. dont expect much. Norwood is just too hit or miss and Michael Turner is there now to steal carries away again. Andre Johnson is awesome and you lucked out with Marshall only suspended 1 game. Gafney could be a sleeper target kinda like Welker last year. Anthony Gonzalez in the same position in Indy. Its officialy time to name Reggie Brown a BUST. Heath Miller will always have a spot in my heart as he was part of my Championship squad last season, he's solid. Good work Benny, looks like you did your homework.
8) BALCO LABS - I believe the expression is falling back down to earth. That's what's in store for Balco Labs this year. Granted you have Peyton Manning who could have a monster year but Selvin Young probably should still be a free agent. Same for Fargus, I know he had a good year last year but Darren McFadden wasn't on his team. Clinton Portis is average so far into his stay in Washington but still a solid #1 RB, he led the league in carries last season so you can't say he's injury prone anymore. Expect big things from Roy Williams this year searching for a new deal. Donald Driver caught 2TD's last year so don't expect much more without Favre. Reached with Jerrico, good deep threat but Coles is still the #1 guy. Tony Gonzalez would be great if we had points for catch but the Chiefs passing D is horrible. You might think about starting Ben Watson midseason. Good Quality backup with Rivers. Tough division could make it tough for this team to make playoofs too.
9) BTAN - Ben tickles anal nerves is back with avengence this year. Pummeled by the leagues toughest schedule BTAN was down for the count early. Palmer should be a top 5 QB but if not a healthy Marc Bulger might be a steal in round 8. Everyone's sexy pick Adrian Peterson is sure to shine and get plenty of carries. Does Edge have any gas left in the tank? At least he isn't splitting carries. Ricky Williams likes bongs for breakfast like me, so he's cool in my book. Another question mark with Marvin Harrison, I gambled on him in another league and Tory Holt might be heading downhill, but as for right now still a top recieving threat. Chris Chambers is a habitual underachiever, and hasn't proved to me yet to be fantasy worthy. Isacc bruce is about as dry as a popcorn fart. Alge Crumpler is a below average tight end at best. A lot of question marks but if everything clicks this team could be nasty.
10) FEAR & LOATHING - Rumored to be a fan favorite from other members of the BAFF but I just can't see it. David Garrard don't get me wrong is a quality QB but doesn't put up the numbers to warrant a starting Fantasy QB. Everyone loves Lynch but i dont see him being anything more than a top 10 running back. Willis is on my black list, and busted up, can't count on him. Julius Jones is still Julius Jones whether he's in Dallas or Seattle. Larry Fitzgerald is the real deal but Greg Jenning should will feel the hurt of no Favre or maybe he'll thrive, who am I to say. There is nothing to see here at tight end. Schefler lost his starting job and Todd Heap will be lucky to play 8 games but hey, you felt highly enough of him to trade away the possible ROY canidate Chris Johnson, I've heard nothing but good things about that guy. I wanna see ya win buddy so prove me wrong.
11) TONIGHT THE RIOT - Probably the biggest surprise in this years rankings. Sorry Jeremy but I don't like the squad. Of course Brady is Brady but im not planning on him outpointing the next best QB by 150 points this year, but maybe. Taking Brady early makes you settle for Michael Turner and Ryan Grant. I'm not sold on either. They are both 15-20 ranked backs in my book. Even worse is Lendale. Chris Johnson I like and will trade you something for. Colstin should be solid but not a top 5 WR, Boldin is not the #1 guy on his team but again solid. I was part of the Bernard Berrian experience last year and he is hit or miss but mostly miss,and Kurtis busted his nut lifting a piano or something. Plus i think you made a blunder trading Winslow for Gates. Winslow is Gates from 2005 and you should have kept him. But then again Gates isn't no bum right? Watch the Bills light up the Seahawks week 1 too. Still not a team I want to play but nothing spectacular.
12) A FIGHTING CHANCE - Get comfy wearing that toilet Huffy cuz things don't look good. LT's on your team again after a year hiatus so thats wear your sun shines. Ronnie Brown will have to fight off Ricky Williams all year to keep his job. Rudi Johnson got cut from the Bengals for a reason. Geez, Your wideouts blow, dont they? Ocho Cinco has torn larbum and will be lucky to play 8 games all year. Eddie Royal, Ernest Wilford, and Justin Gage (Pete's diamond in the rough last year). Jerry Porter has upside but is banged up right now too. What a gang ya got there. Dallas Clark I always liked, good quality TE. Eli and Derek Anderson is a good combo but may have trouble wondering who to start each week. Don't be discouraged with my rankings...i don't know shit.